Hans von Hozel Challenge
by penpractice
Summary: Just a tidying of these stories into one place - no new story. Have included reviews at the bottom of each so they don't get lost. Very silly fun shorts - 250 words approx - in the style of Hans von Hozel.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris, Danube belongs to Hans von Hozel**

**Just wanted to join in the fun of this. I think it is a great idea for a weekly challenge. I really hope lots of people join in and enjoy :)**

**For those that do not know about it, look up The Weekly Hans von Hozel Challenge (Without spaces)**

* * *

Eric is filling his tavern and showing himself to Fangbangers.

Sookie suddenly jumped into the Viking tavern and offense his face.

"I want lemons!" Say Sookie soliciting.

"I give gracious plenty!" say vampire with smirking and grabs his pant bulgings.

"No! I want lemons!" say Sookie.

Sooking starts to danube on movables and Eric fangs enlarge.

"BILL GIVE ME LEMONS!" shout Sookie.

"I am very angry with you saying Bills lemons in my tavern!" say Eric

"I have to have lemons for my blonde hair!" say Sookie. She let have it.

"Fine you can having lemons!" say Eric. He come around.

Because Eric is vampire he not have lemons only blood.

Pam has to go shopping lemons for Eric.

Eric give Sookie lemons.

But Sookie is FAIRY!

Lemons is making her explode!

"OH NO!" yelled Eric.

"You making soiled in my head person tavern!" Pam complaining.

Sookie is dead and Eric having to ask Bill to play with his gracious plenty.

* * *

**Not sure if I've done this right, but hope everyone enjoys the challenge anyway.**

**Reviews for ****Sookie wants Eric Lemons**

sweet city lights 8/9/11 . chapter 1

Oh! Eric has pant bulgings!

Oh! Sookie is a'splode!

Oh! fun good-telling story!

Team Jane 7/19/11 . chapter 1

Very funny! Sookie needs lemons for hair, Bill gets GP. Great job!

seastarr08 7/16/11 . chapter 1

Eric must make the unhappys with asking Bill for the GP. Likes!

fffbone 7/14/11 . chapter 1

Lemons make Sookie explode. LOL Bill to play with GP. Laughing, all this for Blonde hair.

moxiemo 7/13/11 . chapter 1

OH NO! trademark von Hozel :)

BathshebaRocks 7/13/11 . chapter 1

I like much the sexing and the shouty people. Many exclaims makes the good story. It is good you make screaming blonde lady die and make shares of the gracious plenty.

Thyra10 7/13/11 . chapter 1

Haha - poor Sookie, forgetting shes a fairy.

Loved it :-D

E-F-M 7/13/11 . chapter 1

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha :D

Brilliant! You danubing owned it!

Eric's reaction had me in stitches... I even carried on laughing at the end...which is kinda sick when I think about it.

We want more next week! :D

Miral 7/13/11 . chapter 1

I really like this one. I've read it three times. Maybe it's cos Bill winds up having to play with the gracious plenty in the end. LOLz

Suki59 7/13/11 . chapter 1

Oh no! Lemons on Sookie means hair blonding! Eric thoughting from his pants bulge the wrong path. Hahahahaha. They make mistaking of lemons, but then deadness sneaked up on me and I am sad.

peppermintyrose 7/13/11 . chapter 1

Lol - I love the constant yelling.

Perfect ending - Eric has to ask Bill to play with his gracious plenty lol.

Blackbat52 7/13/11 . chapter 1

lmao! OMG this made me laugh so hard!

Miral 7/13/11 . chapter 1

This is the third one of these I've read this morning. Is there a wrong way to do these?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris, Danube belongs to Hans von Hozel**

**My attempt for the second week Hans von Hozel challenge.**

**Jannalynn Versus the Womens Institute**

* * *

Old womens of great many was a day for a Hair of the Dog the Jannalyn to confront.

"They look antique stores have been seen, you're young and wearing bright clothes, is wrong!" cried ladies with much wrinkly.

"For old ladies with blue hair is Antiquing, is not young bitchings with blue hair!" They screamed moreish.

"I crack muchly skulls," said Janalynne and striking head of the nearness old lady.

"But thinking you likeness antiques." speaking the old lady next door.

"I a lot more like it lifelessness," said Janalyn

Jannalyne put off her clothes to replace and fight with all the old ladies.

The old ladies put off their clothes and stood behind the cake and knitting.

There was much bloodness and nudeness.

Jannalynne finally had deceased the skulls of all the institutional womans.

Much mess at the floor.

"Danube!" said Janalyne

Sam come.

* * *

**No Jannalynn on the character list? Also always feel doubtful when selecting 'English' as the language, think ff should have HvH as own language!**

**Reviews for ****Jannalynn vesus Womans Institute**

sweet city lights 8/9/11 . chapter 1

your are lovely story with much wrinkly for the knitterings.

also having a nekkids and cake!

Happy fun Jennalin CRACK!

Miss Construed 7/19/11 . chapter 1

I can't explain why, but the "with much wrinkly" had me laughing a ridiculous amount.

You are great HVH fun!

Thyra10 7/18/11 . chapter 1

HAHA - I agree. We should have FF add Hans von Hozel as a separate language. Oh, and add Jannalynn as one of the characters, of course.

Love the story!

E-F-M 7/18/11 . chapter 1

You made me much cryings as happinesses:D

Especialets "The old ladies put off their clothes and stood behind the cake and knitting." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I danube your much greatness for Hozeling Splendids!

fffbone 7/18/11 . chapter 1

This put laugh to me, Jannalyn not liking old ladies with blue hair. Antiquing for anyone bright clothes. Jannalyn crack skulls yet again. LOL

Suki59 7/18/11 . chapter 1

Oh my, penpractice! Wrinkly knitters have my mouth forming laughs plenty good! Jannalynn as skull cracker muchly mean to antique womans.

Maybe all can be hoped for a HVH button someday in replace for the English. *sigh*

jtedrick1 7/18/11 . chapter 1

The old ladies put off their clothes and stood behind the cake and knitting.

I love that they are standing behind the knitting.

The danube is strong with you today! much happiness have you brought me! )

peppermintyrose 7/18/11 . chapter 1

Lol - excellent. The bloodness and nudeness was hilarious. Lol at the institutional womans. :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Charlaine Harris, Microwave fingers belong to Alan Ball, Danube belongs to Hans von Hozel**

**A very silly attempt for week 3 Hans von Hozel challenge.**

* * *

Eric is killed Sam.

Ninjaly Jannalynn crashes through unexplained roof window to turn large Viking

"Aiiiiiiiiiieee!" she said.

CRACK POW BOOM

Jannalynn staked the vampire and dusted hands.

"Oh no," Sookie said: "You stake the Gracious Plently!"

Sookie makes an angry.

Suddenly microwave fingers!

Jannalynn cooked up nicely. So Sookie with Jason shruggingly hotdogging.

Suddenly with Pam and Alcide!

"Jason, you make me pissed on, full of barbecue Jannalynn" said Alcide

"Sookie, you make me fucking off with grill to the Master," said Pam

Pam eat Sookie and Alcide eat Jason.

"Yum" they say together.

Suddenly, Bill!

"Pam Sookie eating! The Sookie is MINE good snack," said Bill

Bill stake Pam.

"I liked you never." said Alcide. He staked Bill.

But Jason was large Hotshot pussy and not much wash.

Alcide is e-coli.

"Hurrah!" Celebration of the Fellowship making very happy.

"Danube!" God said, "You should not making very happy. We mourn all loss of gracious plently"

God destroyed the world.

"Oh no!" The devil said, "Now I'm unemployed!"

* * *

**Opps, I may have been watching a Scorsese film last night.**

**Reviews for ****Muchly unhappys with killing**

ReDish 11/28/12 . chapter 1

lol

sweet city lights 8/9/11 . chapter 1

Janalynn is come ninjaly and Jason is dirty-gross to sexing. *nods* The ones are true!

I will have sadly for other ones also. Goodbye unwork Devil!

seastarr08 8/2/11 . chapter 1

THIS IS AMAZING.

Thyra10 8/1/11 . chapter 1

HAHAHA - and so they all die.

Love it :-D

peppermintyrose 7/31/11 . chapter 1

OMG - that's how it happened on the show! Suddenly microwave fingers! :D

Ah, truly HvH excellence - Shakespearean ending be damned when God destroys the entire world for the loss of the gracious plenty. :D

E-F-M 7/31/11 . chapter 1

Genius! Danubing genius!

'But Jason was large Hotshot pussy and not much wash. Alcide is e-coli.'

Please tears stop making me!

jtedrick1 7/30/11 . chapter 1

God destroyed the world.

"Oh no!" The devil said, "Now I'm unemployed!"

hahaha

ganoo 7/30/11 . chapter 1

oooohhhhh mmmyyy GGoodddd!...I'm laughing so hard I can't type...this was clever, funny, imaginative, and totally you!...I won't even try to Von Hozel because I don't know what, where, who, or how...but sh*t, thanks for the laughs...

fffbone 7/30/11 . chapter 1

LOL So much eating and death. At least they have full bellie before end.

Suki59 7/30/11 . chapter 1

Oh no! You deaded so many! Such a sadly on the story-making! I cryed a danube of tears.

7/30/11 . chapter 1

*giggle*. What is Danube though?


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